How to free a squirrel trapped in pipe in ceiling, or Operation: Christmas Eve Squirrel Removal

On Friday, Christy called work to say that there was "something" stuck in kitchen ceiling vent. I asked "is it a bird, or a squirrel?" she said, it sounds big. So I came home and turned on the fan so that the flus would open hoping he would just run out. Well he stayed. Oh by they way, it's a squirrel. Anyway, so, next, I waited a while to see if we heard anything rustling around and did not so we thought the problem was fixed. Studio Hampton had it's Christmas party at Avenue Grill tonight so Christy and I got dressed up, a little, and went to the party. We had a wonderful night, of eating, sipping drinks, and then went shopping at the mall. When we arrrived home, Christy lets out a big "Oh my God!" and we found that the squirrel had in fact not left, but chewed his way through the fan wires, and through the fan and through the face plate. There was plastic chards all over and some poop.

So that night we didn't do much more than just shut the flu and hope he decided to leave. Well Saturday comes and he is holding tight in his new warm home, the pipe. We put our heads together and Christy had this brilliant idea. Hang plastic Wild Oats bags from the hole where the fan used to be, and bait him into the bag with food, then clasp the ends together and run outside with the varmit. Well it almost worked twice but my legs got tired from standing, holding my arms for 20 minutes like trying to catch a ghost. So we stopped, but left the bags hanging. When we went to bed last night you could hear him trying to climb down into the bag for the food so I would race out of bed and try to catch him in the act. To no avail. Well, I was not sleeping at all, so I got up, shut the flu and called it a night.

This morning, Sunday, Merry Christmas Eve everyone! We woke up and the poor guy was still there. I had to come up with a new plan. Here is my plan. I got up on the snow-packed roof and based on something I read online about squirrel removal, removed the head of the pipe, dropped a rope down the pipe with knots tied every foot or so. I thought this would be a welcomed rescue to the poor dude but maybe he liked his new nest and wanted to stay. He got upset or excited or something and started chirping and chuckling or maybe that was squirrel yelling. I had read that most squirrels will just grab a hold of the rope and be drug out, but not this squatter. So after many scoldings from him, I decided I had to be more creative to get him moving. This was all being expediated by the fact that will be leaving for my sister's house tonight and cannot have a chew-happy squirrel loose in the house all night. That, and Gibson was going nutso! Poor Tica, usually the squirrel chaser of the family, was oblivious to the comotion. Here is the idea that worked.

I dropped rope through the hole into the kitchen. Found a piece of cardboard and cut it into a circle as close to the pipe diameter as I could estimate and cut a hole in the center. Ran the rope through a hole and tied a big not. My idea was to basically pull the poor squirrel out on the hand-made platform. So I placed the cardboard back up into the hole where the fan used to be, ran outside, climbed onto the roof and grabbed the rope and started pulling slowly. Squirrelyman began to chirp, scream, bark or whatever emotion he was feeling, and it got louder as I pulled. BUT I could hear him coming towards the surface. As he was almost there, I backed up a bit to give him some room and wahlah! he poked his head out, looked around and then darted off into a snowdrift far far away from there. FREE AT LAST! So, if you ever have this problem, email me and I can walk you through it. Merry Merry Christmas Eve little buddy and Merry Christmas to everyone!